emotions

I'm the kinda zombie that doesn't cry... well, maybe once or twice, but not that often. still, that might not be a good thing, cause after all, sometimes you just really need to get your feelings out and it doesn't, you get frustrated after a while. So, with this condition, the only way that i can think of to express my feelings is through writing on my blogs, and so starts another issue on "living the life of a zombie".

Life has more twist and turns than any other road( it is after all the longest journey of your lifetime.) and at every minor false turn, you step into a bush with very sharp thorns. And if you're like me and think that you are smart by bringing along a nice long machete to clear the bushes, you'll be able to move along the path you've created to venture into a territory nobody has ever been to... in the middle of a friggin minefield.

See? being smart isn't always the best way out. Take my sister for example, she's smart (she got 4As for her A-levels! anyone reading this please give her a big hand... thank you), hardworking(no kidding, you should look at the amount of notes she takes), and talented(she sings, plays the guitar, plays the piano(grade 5 if i'm not mistaken), cooks, bakes, writes, does great graphics, knows kung fu, and much much more). With all these attributes, you can't stop but think, how i wish i was her, so successful, so loved, so talented... but i'm gonna have to stop you there. you see, being talented is as much of a blessing as a curse. Since her abilities are so numerous, my parents expects the best from her and denies her the freedom to do whatever she wants... "for her own good" it seems. That means "don't waste your talents on graphic design! go study medicine!" and "dentist earn more money compared to writers". So, just for being talented, my sister cannot have the fun she wants, the carrer path she craves, and the joy she needs. so ask yourself, do you really want perfection? can you handle it?think about that... and if you guys are thinking of it, my sister is single but is not interested in you.

On another note though, being completely lazy isn't good for you either. If you put off studying for as long as you can, you'll find that your grades wont exactly like that a lot. so i've just been through my first semester and scored 73 on average... not bad you say, i might say so myself, if not for the fact that i need at least 75 to be accepted into any good New Zealand Universities. So now, worried over my inability to study well, my parents are denying me the chance to participate in various activities in my college area. Come to think of it i'm a bit puzzled over the chronological placement of the events in my life. Why must the treasure hunt be on the same day as the equally important career and studies lectures given by professionals? and why doe my father want me to go there to listen to the damned talks? why try to open a door that has already been locked, bloted, cemented in place and extreamly heavily barricaded? i know he means me well, but i though i've already made it crystal clear...
I DO NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN COMPUTER SCIENCE!!!
but then i dont have much of a choice... he is after all supplying me with the mulah to continue my college education... (sigh) the customer is always right...

So, i guess, not much choices here, just to accept that fact along with the wishes of my father. just zed away another day until i can support myself, then i guess i just might be able to exert some authority in the house... still if you are reading this dad, i'm not that sadistic, i'll still give you whatever is best for you, after all, it is for your own good.