ah... kena tag... again!!! oh well, here goes:
1. What were you doing last midnight?
- trying to get drunk

2. What color of shirt are you wearing right now?
- red

4. Do you have a thing for anyone on your Top 8?
- er... rephrase?

5.How many people in your Friendster do you know in real life?
- not too sure, most of them i guess

6. What are your nicknames?
- ks king, zombie, and some others...

5. Do you have a pet?
- 2 dogs, 2 cats, a bunch of fish... some cockroaches...

8. What are your parents' middle names?
- soo and nai

9. Most recent movie watched?
- hmm... tough one... dont remember.

10. Name 3 things that you have ON you at all times.
- wallet
- depressing thoughs
- handphone

11. Give or receive a foot massage?
- gave

12. Teacher you had the hots for.
- heh heh, private question la brather

13. How much cash do you have right now?
- about 20 bucks, not counting shillings

14. 4th person in your received calls list?
- Mom

15. What's your phone ring tone?
- fall out boy-carpal tunnel of love

17. What were you doing at midnight two nights ago?
- onlining

18. How many people on your friends list are ex's?
- 1

19. What is your favorite part of the chicken?
- all the same to me

20. What's your favorite city?
- Subang

21. Whats your favorite color?
- Blue

22. I can't wait to...?
- take over the world! MUAHAHAHAHA

23. When was the last time you saw your mom?
- 1 minute ago

24. What's the best insult you've ever heard or said?
- said:" i mean, look at you... not that there's much to look at, but still..."

27. How long have you been at your current job?
- 18 years

28. Is Tom on your friends list?
- yea, got a few peeping toms in my list

29. What's the last thing you said out loud?
- SHUT THE F*** UP!!!!

31. What is the last thing/person you spent over $100 on?
- if i'm not mistaken i think it was my shoes

32. Who's your favorite villain?
- me

33. Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
- a belt from my sis

34. I really wish I drove a...?
- hydrogen powered car

35. What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
- urbandead, deadawaken, minewars, funny-games, gamespot, gmail, facebook, blogger, hotmail, friendster...

36. Last text message in your phone?
- I guess so. But i only go to tat app when someone do something to me

37. Do you have an air freshener in your car?
- zilch

38. Do you have plants in your room?
- nada

39. If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
- vodka martini

40. Last piece of e-mail opened?
- something about dim sum

41. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
- my heart

42. What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
- singapore

43. Last alcoholic drink?
- cherry vodka

44. If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave?
- might

45. Do you own a picture phone?
- yea

46. What's your bf/gf, or most recent ex birthday?
- october 29th

47. What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
- chocolate will do

48. Do you exercise as much as you should?
- Nope

49. Did you do the deed on prom night?
- unfortunately no

50. Would you give your bf/gf a second chance if they cheated on you?
- depends

51. Where were you last year for Christmas?
- at home, thinking sad thoughts

52. If I don't like you?
- then you can eat my shorts

53. Recent time you were really upset?
- now?

I tag.......... whoever reads this!

Guess who's back

.................
*beep*
*whirr....*
*Hibernation mode: engaged*
*Deactivate hibernation mode: 0.Yes 1.No*
*0 recieved*
*Hibernation mode deactivated*
*Main systems online*
*Welcome back my lord and master, everlasting commandant zombie*

Hoorah!!! Exams are OVER!!! Woot!!!! Yay!!! High Five!!!(pumps fist into the air)YE...(hits chin)..OOOOFFF!! ouch....

ok ok, now that that display of pleasure is finished, lets continue with my first blog post in a month. my finals are over(yes, unfortunately even a zombie has to adhere to homosapien educational woes) which means that my college year is over... which also means i will have to be distanced from my girl friend... which sucks on a large scale... but still i'll make the most of what i have... which means i'll need an excuse to stay in subang for the duration of december... which leads me to tell you all i have a job. in subang, paying 5 bucks an hour... it'll do.

anyway, christmass is coming, another festival where homosapiens stuff themselves full of food and give each other gifts to convey love and peace... all this just to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Seriously that guy is one lucky bastard(what? True wert), to have 32% of the world population celebrating his b-day... not that it's something good though, imagine the pain his mom went through to borne a baby while still being a virgin (though i doubt the authenticity of that statement)... During this season of sharing and caring, there are those who profit a lot(little kids and storeowners), and there are those who lose a lot(parents of spoilt kids and boyfriends), but still homosapiens continue this tradision that ensures economical stability (recycling money). normally i don't like to join a crowd(excpet when i'm eating) but in this case, i guess i'll give it a go.

Merry Christmass from your friendly neighbourhood zombie

winter is coming

due to closeness of exams and lack of inspiration, this blog will temporarily enter a state of hibernation. will revive it as soon as i can. sorry

life? anyone?

The worst part of eating hobos is their non-stop whining (dirt and smell takes second place). I mean come on. Hobos sit on their fat asses all day begging for money and complaining how hard their life is and how cruel glod is to them, the only excersice they will be doing is walking up from their spot to go to the nearest liquor store or drug dealer... therefore i see no point for them in ever having appendages in the first place. The solution to their protest of them needing their legs as i've found out a few weeks ago is to give them a bottle of cheap wine. This way they stop whining and they marinate themselves in the process...

Speaking of life, what exactly is it?(i know some of you may say that this blog posting is very like one i used to write, but i've recently recieved new insights towards it). Life... We all lament it. We all hate it(most of the time). We all wonder if it leads us towards the life we want... But has anybody really REALLY consider what life is? Have you? Lots of you undoubtatly think that life is predestined by some unknown glod with some magical pen on some magical paper, tasking each creature to live a pre-destined life. But is it really? If it is then what is the entire purpose of living? We might as well be robots which reproduce by mating.

So what is life then? Well lets consider the case. Life began when the heart of a creature begins beating. Life begins when they creatures brain(or likewise instrument) sends it's first impulse to the creature. Life begins with the creatures first action. Yes, the first action taken by the creature in question is the first step towards a journey that is twisted and filled with obstacles that Arnold Schwarzenegger will flinch at. And as with all actions taken, it tends to have consequences. And then as any creature will logically do, it will react to the consequence by performing another action, thus sparking a chain reaction. For instance, take the case of a baby emerging from the womb of a pregnant lady. When the baby opens it's eyes(action) it sees the world for the first time(consequence), this image is sent back to the brain(action), which determines that the world it has been borne in is a scary hell(consequence), thus it proceeds to cry(action), and resulting in the doctor pronouncing it as healthy(consequence) and so on... Thus i conclude that life, in essence, is the action taken by a creature, followed by it's consequence, followed by another action, and so on and so forth.

So no. Life is not pre-destined. Life was never written down beforehand, only after. Life is determined by one creature and only one creature. The creature involved itself. So when you are in one hell of a shitty situation, don't think that life is getting you down. It is the result of you making an error in your judgement and thus arriving at the current predicament. And at which point there is no point in asking glod to help you either as even is she/he existed, she/he is probably too busy frying people with thunderbolts to listen to you rant and help you out of it. So don't look up in desperation. Look forward with renewed vigor and confidence and take the best way out. the will be painful consequences, but the action you take will cause the future to have brighter consequences. The future is written by yourself and yourself alone. Don't lose hope. Never lose hope.

Ok, this hobo is finished. I'm going to find another one. Have fun looking forward people, this way it'll be easier for me to sneak up behind you.

tag!!! i'm it!!! TT( you tagged me where it hurts...)

Ladies and Gentleman, i have been tagged. Yes, and it hurts. A lot.
well let me get on with it then

Tagged by : Alsy...

RULES:
1. The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

8 different points about my perfect lover (girl... hopefully):
a) willing
b) understanding
c) forgiving
d) can cook
e) looks cute
f) melodious
g) streetwise
h) loves me as much as i love her

hmm... who to tag...
i tag : Yorsh, YorLin, fevernuts, soya

and for those who are expecting something funny, sorry, not this time... instead, take a lok at this
witness the scourge of disney... you'll never look at the show the same way again

dont you think it's a bit too late?

I'm a very liberal zombie, after all even homosapiens deserve a chance to prove themselves worthy... However there are some homosapiens that really disgusts me... recently in the papers there was a story of another child rapist and murderer... Apparently some homosapien had gotten a little too horny for the little girls' good, found the girl, kidnapped her, raped her, killed her, and finally stuffed her corpse in a bag and left it outside a store... Her corpse was only found on day later when a manager opened it to inspect it's contents...

These homosapiens are sick, preying on the weaker of their kind, imposing their will on those unable to defend themselves, desecrating their innosence, snuffing out the life of one who could be, want to be, will never be successful and good, and finally leaving her around like a used condom for all to see... If i ever find any of those homosapiens, i'll just tear off an arm, a leg and a penis and lock them up in my basement with less than enough food, this way they will have to live and suffer throughout the remainder of their lives...

Yet come to think about it, are they the only ones at fault here? I'm not trying to give those sickos standing ground, i'm just presenting all the facts involved... Why is it that a sicko like that is given the opportunity to kidnap the little girl? why is it that no one noticed the dissapearance of 7 other girls between the age of 6-10 before this happened? why was it that a sicko like this even existed in the first place?

In my opinon, these three problems all have one common factor... Bad parenting. come on, which responsible parent will leave their kid alone in a danger prone area and not pay attention to their childrens well-being? What kind of parents will not post the dissapearance of their children in newspapers all over the country in a desperate attempt to find their children? why is it that the parents of sickos like this have never instilled any consience in their kid? These parents are also in need of some common sense instillment classes...

This sicko however did teach us something, he has taught us to constantly be grateful that your loved ones are alive, are protected and are happy... it tells parents to be careful for their children, it teaches guys to be grateful for their girls, it tells homosapiens to be more aware of these freaks of nature...

that said, i think i'll go eat a hobo... have fun you bunch of homosapiens, and beware, i could be behind you...

Conversation with Glod

I was sitting down to begin eating my lunch when i was confronted by a bright light. Being a member of the dead i've lost most of my emotions, which included fear, so i regarded this new development with curiosity... the light soon materialized into an anthropoid form. I couldn't make out the face or gender of the being in question, not that it matters, so i began to contemplate what to make of this encounter... Just at that moment, it spoke in a voice that doesn't suggest anything other than a voice, with no hint whatsoever of the gender, age or personality of it's owner. The ensuring conversation went underway...

zombie : Er... greetings?
being : Hello zombie.
zombie : I assume you come in peace...
being : You may assume so.
zombie : ... You look familiar, have i seen you before?
being : I doubt it.
zombie : So... I can tell you're not here for homosapien gibs.
being : urgh, you can keep them.
zombie : Well how bout some rice crispies then?
being : I'm not here for food, I assure you.
zombie : Whew, that's a relief... So what do you want?
being : zombie, i'm here to have a chat with you.
zombie : Well, I guess i can spare some time, what do you want to know?

The being raised a question about my beliefs regarding homosapiens and the reason i'm not in love with what i once was. In truth I have pondered over this as well, i was once just an ignorant homosapien, but sometime ago i've discovered the foolishness of homosapiens and have disassociated myself from them, to answer this question first we must look at the definition of homosapiens...

homosapiens, in my own opinion is another type of animal, but an animal with no fur, no sharp claws, no camouflage, but possess superior intellect and two very flexible hands. Some people argue that homosapiens are not animals, believing so because homosapiens are smarter than any animal or even that they are superior because they are made by god with special plans...
the way i see it, monkeys and gorillas have about the same amount of intelligence, yet even they, the ancestors of mankind according to the theory of evolution, are labeled as animals, but homosapiens aren't? And of those who think that homosapiens are made special by god, i thought that "god" made all creatures equal, how exactly does making homosapiens special fit into that equation? And if homosapiens have a special task delegated to them you'll bet "god" is reevaluating "god"s strategy now.

Indeed, homosapiens are making a mockery of the world by polluting the environment, destroying ecosystems and thinking that money is the most important thing. They have total disregard of our planet as they continue to strip mine, major deforest, and constant combust objects so that they have their own personal comforts. What disgusts me further is how some homosapiens regard that they are entirely correct in their way of thinking and thus dont worry about it at all, and the worst thing is that they think that the earth being destroyed is a bunch of bollocks and not worthy of their attention... I realised this fact when i've reached a certain age, and from that time onwards i have felt disgusted by homosapiens and have decided to disassociate myself from them, choosing instead to become a zombie... (Do understand i'm talking in general here, i'm happy to share my time with any homosapien who i deem worthy).

So i gues that's why i have this distant disgust for the actions of homosapiens, and i feel that i'm doing my part by eating as many of them as i can, those who don't wish to be eaten better start to worry about the environment now...

Having said that, I watched the being nod his head and and begun to rise. The beings voice boomed out around me...
being :Interesting views zombie, it seems talking to you is much more insightful compared to talking to those priest who keep asking me for salvation of one kind or another.
zombie : Glad to help, say you look familiar, are you sure I haven't seen you some where?
being : I'm sure you did.
zombie : Ok, seeya some other time...

and i did, he was the guy working at the 7-11 right opposite my house...

you are so insensitive

I was bored one day while eating my lunch, so i told him a joke.It was about the stupidity of homosapiens. He felt offended by it and an arguement broke out among us. Here's what it was like...

Zombie: So, what do you think? Am i in line to become a comedian?
Lunch : That was a distasteful joke. You are insensitive.
Zombie: Oh yeah? What do you know of insensitivity? Do you think i want to be insensitive?do you think it's my fault that i'm born with no regard for other peoples feelings? well, let me tell you right here and right now, that you are being insensitive about insensitivity! I am insensitive and i'm proud of it!
Lunch : Geeze sorry, i guess i never really though of it that way... i guess i was a bit insensitive about that matter...
Zombie: Yeah well, as long as you have seen the logic of it and will never do it again.
Lunch : Yeah, i'll never do it again.
Which he didn't ever do again, in fact he never did much of anything again, cause i felt a bit hungry. This left me a bit happy, so here comes another blog.
Anyway, i've recently cut my hair...

yep, feel free to ooo and aaa all you want... it's me in short hair mode... lots of you might think it's a big improvement from my previous hairstyle, and to tell the truth, i quite agree... all that hair though seemingly provides a unique distraction for my otherwise flawed face texture, it actually promotes the obvious for all to see, so i guess having a haircut is a great idea, even my head feels lighter...

Haircut aside, I've recently felt the need to keep an extra eye out for danger in my surrounding area, Subang aint exactly fort knox... and since most of the time i go back to my tiny room while it's dark, you tend to be more suspicious of the dangers lurking in the shadows, you'll never know what you'll meet coming around the corner after all, a mugger, a crazy dog or even a crazy person... whats got me so safety concious all of a sudden? My sisters friend recently got mugged by 5 guys in a black car, they just drove up to her, came out with knifes and asked for money, go figure... So, anyway, i dont really know why i posted this blog, maybe i just wanted to promote the life long warning to all... Safety first!!!
Keep safe and alive, so i can eat you later... well, i'm hungry, time to go eat a hobo

it's quite possible you know

Yep, contrary to popular belief (and many sciencentific studies apparently), zombies do get sick. (Dont ask me why i uploaded this image here, i guess my brains acting up...)

And the sick zombie in question is undoubtablily me... must have been someone i ate... anyway, since this sickness is not getting any better at the moment, and i need a distraction after quiting my job at the web (yes. I quit my job under family influence), i've decided to work on my blog... again...

Anyway, yes, shocking as it may be i've decided to quit my slackers dream job post and start on my intensive physics tuition. not without a twang of regret. I really miss doing my homework and getting paid for it, and if i have no homework surfing the net or watching videos. But i had no alternative. My marks in physics were not as high as my family would like, and since my job has been leaked to the family unintentionaly, they put the blame on something they dont approve of but couldn't find a reason to disapprove of it... until now that is. Like hungry wolves they pounce on this problem immediately after they saw my marks, denying me the little fun and satisfaction that comes with earning money... well that's homosapien nature to you... sigh

So, now i'm a bit at a lost of joy, with it i've lost most of my drive to study, but that's not an option either, so i guess i have to study with a sour mood... yeah, i am angry at being forced out of a job, but the one i'm really angry at is not my family or my friends, i'm angry at myself, for being a lazy bastard and not doing well in my exams... so hey, i guess, that in life there are two ways to get whatever you want... One is to be a good individual, to obey laws, to follow the crowd, to keep in line, to work hard, and such... the other one is to be a manipulator of others, to backstab and betray when the time is right, to always suck up to the superiors, and get rewarded for fulfilling the needs of others... i cant be either. I cant be a robot...and i cant be a total asshole...

so i guess i'm doomed to be a failure in this society... Still, i won't give up though, life is unfair after all, what you need to do is just make it unfair in your favour, this way you'll make others suffer for your expense... for those of you who have a concience at hearing this, you can stay at the bottom for all i care, wise up, you cant get to the top without stepping on a few heads, and even there you are stepping on someones head constanly anyway... so just live with the fact that u are at the top and donate to charity i guess...

Man this sinus problem is even affecting my brain... i was starting to feel enjoyment... well i better sign out before i blow this monitor out of the window with my sneese... whoops, too late

suicidal thoughs

The thing with nature is that it somehow finds ways to compensate the disabilities of certaint animals by improving another part of it. For instance, cameleons are slow, yet they have camouflage skin, zebras with the most succulent flesh have strong legs. This holds true for homosapiens as well. Everywhere we see blind people with enhanced hearing, people with attention deficit disorder being alarmingly smart... and the people with small brains having big mouths. I have been studying the last of these creatures for some time now (for research purposes... more specifically how they taste) therefore i have begun to have a headache from their unbearable stupidity... even zombies get infected with these symtoms if they linger around long enough. So to get my mind straight again, i'm posting another blog.



Throughout my study of homosapiens, i have concluded one thing. Nature made homosapiens smart, but it also made them weak. In fact our smartness also contributes to part of that weakness, because with smartness comes emotion, with emotion comes sadness, regret and fear. Thus, we homosapiens decided that the best way to get over their general weakness, they have decided to live according to the theory that if the weak get together they become strong, hence they began living together, forming societies. This has proven to be effective to a small degree as less and less homosapiens are claimed by the wild... In fact they have begun to fight back. Packs of homosapiens began to hunt the mighty mammoths in the artic


(well it's not exactly the artic, but you have to give and take a bit)


The Great Whales of the Pacific




and even according to photographic proof, dinosaurs!...

ok maybe the last one was an exaggeration, but still you get the picture.


well, as i was saying, homosapiens aren't entirely protected by their society. The thing with society is, just like legends and myths, a construct of homosapiens themselves. When i say that it is merely a construct of homosapiens, i dont mean they dont exist, but that they do not possess a concrete form, that they exist merely as ideas that allow homosapiens to live in comfort. And since society is an idea that a lot of homosapiens share, there will always be conflicts of interest between homosapiens. And as with all living things, with conflict of interest there will always be conflict of words or even conflicts of arms. To prevent these conflicts to get out of hand, leaders of homosapiens have formed a new bunch of ideas called laws. These laws prevent the conflicts from happening, causing bodily damage upon even the smallest element of society. But to form these laws, the leaders have to provide an idea that causes all parties in the society to recieve fair treatment (this is hard i assure you as life is very unfair [which i'll tell you about in one of my later inserts], plus the fact that most leaders of society have the IQ of a box of hair).(Honestly, they dont look very bright do they?)

With no where to turn to, they consult the social norm(another idea, you can see where my theories are all based on). For those of you who have trouble understanding, the social norm is the accepted level of behaviour expected of an individual in a society, in other words, it defines what is considered normal in society. And as usual, when it comes to ideas that cannot be calculated, there are bound to be some conflicts in what is considered "normal behaviour". However in this case, there are no laws that can protect an individual from the conflicts based on the social norm, this is because the laws are determined by the social norm itself, hence in this case homosapiens had a huge contest of sorts, and as usual, majority wins. Thus the social norm, and ultimately the laws were predetermined by the majority. And with all majorities, there are minorities. These minorities become social outcasts. They are seperated from the society they come from either on their own will or by force. These outcasts were then left to die in the wild. These cases were what happened when the first societies were formed, those times homosapiens didn't care much for them cause they were deemed excess baggage(no teamwork you see, nobody wanted to be seem with those who were outcasted by society for fear that they will soon follow suit).

Nowadays, these social outcasts no longer die from the wild, well at least not that often, cause as homosapiens have killed off most wildlife in their bid to enhance themselves. So, with nothing to eat them and with new laws conjured by the "symphaty" of others, social outcasts are allowed to live within the society as long as they dont cause too much of a stir. But even when living within society, they are scorned as much as, probably more than lepers.Some of these social outcast, desperate to fit in to the crowd, changes their lifestyle and attitude towards life, gaining a life but ultimately losing their individuality. But there are those outcasts who when given a chance to change themselves to fit in, laughs at the face of "chance" and insists on living on their own principles. It is these people, unwilling to change their viewpoints to suit the society they live in, knowing that they'll never progress in their society and they are doomed to live a life of proverty, failure and solitude, they pondor the choices presented to them. Except for the lucky ones who really have a good connection and finds a knowing family, most of them will reach these two decisions a life of crime or no life at all. At this point the numbers are mostly split in half. Some become criminals of society, taking from it what they think they deserve, but ultimately ending up in a 4 by 4 or at the electric chair. Others find their salvation from the nooses of ropes, bottom of rivers, with knifes through their bodies or at the bottom of skyscrapers (after they jump off it of course). But one thing to note of all these cases, the victims mostly commit suicide because they are outcasts, because they are not loved...


The thing with homosapiens are they need a lot of love and care, not just at the infant stage, but throughout their entire life. When homosapiens are denied that little bit of feeling called love, they become desperate and think very strangely indeed. So if you know anybody, be it friends, family, neighbours, lecturers, relatives, acquaintances, pets, fans, heck, even enemies, who look a bit down, go over, give them a smile, and ask them what's wrong. You might not get much of a response cause homosapiens are shy creatures, but the main thing is they feel that you do care for them and worry for their well-being. This will surely brighten up their day, and perhaps, just perhaps, help save a life... this is good, cause there'll be one more homosapien for me to eat. Well, end of story. Sleep tight wherever you are, cause you just might become my next meal...

emotions

I'm the kinda zombie that doesn't cry... well, maybe once or twice, but not that often. still, that might not be a good thing, cause after all, sometimes you just really need to get your feelings out and it doesn't, you get frustrated after a while. So, with this condition, the only way that i can think of to express my feelings is through writing on my blogs, and so starts another issue on "living the life of a zombie".

Life has more twist and turns than any other road( it is after all the longest journey of your lifetime.) and at every minor false turn, you step into a bush with very sharp thorns. And if you're like me and think that you are smart by bringing along a nice long machete to clear the bushes, you'll be able to move along the path you've created to venture into a territory nobody has ever been to... in the middle of a friggin minefield.

See? being smart isn't always the best way out. Take my sister for example, she's smart (she got 4As for her A-levels! anyone reading this please give her a big hand... thank you), hardworking(no kidding, you should look at the amount of notes she takes), and talented(she sings, plays the guitar, plays the piano(grade 5 if i'm not mistaken), cooks, bakes, writes, does great graphics, knows kung fu, and much much more). With all these attributes, you can't stop but think, how i wish i was her, so successful, so loved, so talented... but i'm gonna have to stop you there. you see, being talented is as much of a blessing as a curse. Since her abilities are so numerous, my parents expects the best from her and denies her the freedom to do whatever she wants... "for her own good" it seems. That means "don't waste your talents on graphic design! go study medicine!" and "dentist earn more money compared to writers". So, just for being talented, my sister cannot have the fun she wants, the carrer path she craves, and the joy she needs. so ask yourself, do you really want perfection? can you handle it?think about that... and if you guys are thinking of it, my sister is single but is not interested in you.

On another note though, being completely lazy isn't good for you either. If you put off studying for as long as you can, you'll find that your grades wont exactly like that a lot. so i've just been through my first semester and scored 73 on average... not bad you say, i might say so myself, if not for the fact that i need at least 75 to be accepted into any good New Zealand Universities. So now, worried over my inability to study well, my parents are denying me the chance to participate in various activities in my college area. Come to think of it i'm a bit puzzled over the chronological placement of the events in my life. Why must the treasure hunt be on the same day as the equally important career and studies lectures given by professionals? and why doe my father want me to go there to listen to the damned talks? why try to open a door that has already been locked, bloted, cemented in place and extreamly heavily barricaded? i know he means me well, but i though i've already made it crystal clear...
I DO NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN COMPUTER SCIENCE!!!
but then i dont have much of a choice... he is after all supplying me with the mulah to continue my college education... (sigh) the customer is always right...

So, i guess, not much choices here, just to accept that fact along with the wishes of my father. just zed away another day until i can support myself, then i guess i just might be able to exert some authority in the house... still if you are reading this dad, i'm not that sadistic, i'll still give you whatever is best for you, after all, it is for your own good.

new post every week

things around me are getting a wee bit strange.
i've observed cats feeling cold
nations shifting coordinates... (don't tell me that doesn't look kinda like Australia)And of course the most popular subject of natures torture, the humans
with all these strange happenings around me, i can't help but feel worried, so i decided to do what any normal person would do under these circumstances. i decided to write another post for my blog. In fact i think i'll start posting blogs whenever i feel like it (which is mostly during weekends) and keep you guys updated on whatever is going on throughout my unlife.

so, now that that announcement is over, lets get on to this week. i've recently started work at a computer lab in my college that is open for students. it's a slackers dream job. i'm actually getting 5 bucks an hour just to sit there and go online, play games, do my homework, and tell everybody who comes in to scan their student ids. And the coolest thing is the second day on the job and the entire Subang had a power outage, that meant that i only have to work about 3 hours to get 5 hours pay, that kinda rocks, i think i'll try that again. But then again, work is always hard. carrying printer paper is murder, i never knew you could get so many paper cuts in one minute, by the end of the shift i was looking like this. also i cant even warm the seat with my butt. every time i sit down and start to relax, some retard will come up to me and say "excuse me, but i can't log in to my computer...". these idiots can prove to be a major pain in the ass. But since i'm working, i dont have much of a choice but to tell them that their password is their IC number with the dashes. still i would gladly give up my job just to be able to do this.
But then some things will just have to be tolerated. just like whatever life throws at you, for instance, bad neighbours, homework and other nuisances that can choke a dog. So, the best thing to do is choke it down, then make the most out of it, look on the bright side instead of going straight for the bad parts. Anyway, stress session over, i'm out.

Lifes death grip

Life has a death grip on me.

Like King Kong holds on to Mary Ann or whatever her name is. She had it made anyway, personally i would love to have a 3 ton gorilla as a personal bodyguard on skull island, even if the gorilla wants to mate with me, hey, you gotta be alive to mate right?

Anyway, like i said, life has a death grip on me. it doesn't let me go unless it feels like it, and even so it throws a few nasty things my way along with my freedom, making my life as miserable as it is. i mean think about it. one minute you were happily accepting the fact that you are on vacation after a long semester at college, next thing you know you are at home, your families maid ran away while the rest of your family went to Madrid, your computer's dvd reader acts up and to top that up you develop a flu. what kind of fucked up vacation is that? i'll tell you what kind it is, it is a vacation that you'll have to clean the house, feed the dogs, feed the cats, water the plants, wash the dishes, wash the clothes, etc, and on top of that i have to take care of poor grandma who decided to stay behind to "take care" of me... i know she means well, but truth be told i like being alone, with no other human beings in close proximity. i've no idea if this is normal at my age, but i think it's not. when everyone around me wants to go somewhere i have this feeling like i want to stay at home instead. it's not that i'm anti social, i have plenty of friends, not necessarily good ones, but friends none the less,


But somewhere in my course of life, i have developed a small kindling of loathing, a distant hatred for homosapiens. it seems that whatever we do, whatever we say now, it's actually irrelevant, it's not important at all. and all the while we keep destroying a bit of the earth one tiny piece of trash at a time. i'm guessing all this is because i have this tendency to be very environmentally friendly. In fact i consider myself to be an environmental extremist in my own way. but the main issue here is i have this tnedancy to dislike human contact at times, yet at others, i feel... well, lonely. yeah i know, this is one hell of a fucked up life i'm leading. in fact i'm not sure if i'm even alive anymore. most of the time i'm just living the same old life every single day. sure i learn new things everyday in college, and when i met my friends i also have a lot of fun with them, but i feel that my life is too... boring. i feel like i need some huge changes, something exciting happening for instance, but in reality i knew the possibilities of that happening are very slim. so i dont really have high hopes for those, but i still keep an eye out for those.

So, in conclusion, i live a fucked up life in a fucked up world, as do a lot of people, but then again, if the world didn't suck, we would all be floating. so i accept this fact, and try to make the most out of it. that's life, deal with it.

post-rejection

The night of my rejection, i lay in my bed, talking to myself...
Real Me : Man this sucks.
Inner Self: Hey, cheer up, you did everything you could. There was no way of expecting this.
Real Me : Yeah, but still I thik i could have done something better...
Inner Self: Yeah? like what?
Real Me : I don't know, maybe ask her sooner...
Inner Self: Face it, you lost to that other guy, now just wish that they have a bright future, as long as she's happy right? Isn't that what you really want? Her to be happy?
Real Me : Yes it is, and i do hope they get along, but still, i have this empty feeling in my heart...
Inner Self: It hurts doesn't it?
Real Me : Well of course it does! Feels like a chainsaw in my heart, and it's still there and buzzing.
Inner Self: Chill man, useless shouting at me, that's not going to solve your problem.
Real Me : Yeah i guess... Sorry.
Inner Self: No harm done.
a few seconds silence...
Real Me : Wonder who he is though...
Inner Self: Who who is?
Real Me : You know, the guy she likes.
Inner Self: Donno, probably someone from school.
Real Me : Don't think so, I think he's not from our school, perhaps another scout she met at Jamboree...
Inner Self: Whoever he is he better not meet you eh? heh heh.
Real Me : Yeah... Nah, I'm not that kinda guy, if i meet that guy, i'm going to tell him that i like her but i've lost to her, and that he better treat her nice or he'll be really sorry he didn't.
Inner Self: Very noble of you.
Real Me : Thanks, but i still think if i had asked her sooner i may have had her...
Inner Self: MAY being the important part of that sentence.
Real Me : Do you have to be so negative?
Inner Self: Me? Negative? Who is the one talking to himself on his bed at 12.00 am?
Real Me : That's mainly because i can only gripe to you, You heard my sis when she said..
Inner self: I know what she said, she said that boys bouce back faster and you act like a girl when you mope around and go all emo on others. It not true, You can bitch about it all the time, heck write a blog about it if it helps.
Real Me : Yeah well what if other people think that means i'm a big wuss?
Inner Self: Seriously dude, get a grip, you had your chance, you missed it. You tried to salvage it by asking her anyway and you got what you expected didn't you, Let her go already.
Real Me : I can't. Her cute smile still haunts my thoughs... Damn it why did she have to smile when she was rejecting me?
Inner Self: Sigh, she was trying to lessen the impact of the rejection. Don't you get it?
Real Me : I know that, it's just that it backfired didn't it? I'm hurting more now.
Inner Self: Well it's not her fault you're as messed up as this, you should be ashamed of yourself, there's more to life then having a girlfriend you know, i'm sure you'll find relief somewhere.
Real Me : Really, for example?
Inner Self: Well...
Real Me : Face it, everytime someone mentions birthday, 18th March, pineapple or i see a cute couple having the time of their lives i'll always remember that day.
Inner Self: Sigh, you'll get over it soon enough.
Real Me : I guess...
Inner Self: But hey, forget about her, you can move on soon enough.
Real Me : But i don't know why, i still have feelings for her...
Inner Self: Good, bottle it up, throw it into the sea.
Real Me : I... I can't...
Inner Self: Oh Man, I'm talking to a retard.
Real Me : A love struck retard mind you.
Inner Self: Whatever.
Real Me : But strange thing though, I want to cry my heart out today, that would make me feel better, but the tears just won't come...
Inner Self: Maybe you just don't love her enough...
Real Me : No it's not that, i just feel like maybe i've had the though that men don't cry, they bleed, so i'm just not used to crying, heck i didn't even cry at my grandfathers funeral...
Inner Self: Probable, but ask yourself, do you really love her?
Real Me : I do.
Inner self: Then i guess it really is what you think.
Real Me : Really hard not to express my feelings though, even all those break-up songs my sis borrowed my doesn't help...
Inner Self: Hey, it'll take time for your heart to heal, and after that you may not feel that you love her anymore, feel whatever you want, but only the future knows what will happen.
Real Me : Yeah, guess so.
Inner Self: Now get some sleep, you've got another big day tommorow.
Real Me : Sigh, do i really have to?
Inner Self: Yes, you don't want to be late again right?
Real Me : Well yeah.
Inner Self: Good, so forget about her for now and go to sleep. Good night.
Real Me : Night...
A few minutes later...
Real Me : I really think i could get her if i asked sooner though...
Inner self: Shut up, and go to sleep.
Real Me : Okay, okay...
A few seconds of silence...
Real Me : No seriously...
Inner Self: Hey, shut up already.
Real Me : Okay, fine